Something's Gotta Give

So on Friday, BEFORE I went to Utah, I was down to 156...but a weekend with my family = disaster. I was 161 on Monday. 159 today...So hopefully I'll be down tomorrow. I ran 6 miles today and got wicked bad blisters. So I better be down after all the pain I wen through!

I am so sick of not being able to wear the clothes I want. Everything makes me look like a hippo. I realized something, it's not the clothes. IT'S ME. I want to wear whatever I want without even thinking about it. I want to wear short sleeves without worrying my arms are fat, I want to wear tight shirts without thinking. "Is my stomach flat today?"I want to wear short shorts and have awesome, thin, mile long legs. I want to wear skinny jeans and have people say, "She's one of the few that can pull those off."

I'm tired of feeling like I want to hide when people look at me. When I used to catch guys looking at me I used to think they were checking me out. Now I know they are staring at my huge butt and chunky thighs in disgust. I want to be that girl who gets stared at wherever I go: for the right reason.

I've got to change something and I'm tired of telling myself I'll be better tomorrow. Well, tomorrow will be today before I know it and so many tomorrows and have come and gone and nothing has changed.

So no longer am I going to change my life tomorrow. I'm going to change my body now.