That can't be right.

So I'm not sure what to think. I stepped on the scale this morning, preparing to be horrified by the number, only to see that my weight was at 156.4.... I lost 2 pounds since yesterday??

That doesn't makes sense. I have 2 theories: 1) The diarrhea made me lose a lot of water weight. 2) I hadn't pooped in like 2 days so eating all the junk made me sick, gave me diarrhea, and I pooped everything out. Either way I think I might be heavier tomorrow.
-Sorry to sound gross/blunt or whatever but thats my thoughts.

Today I wasn't going to eat...But I barely woke up before I ate! UGHH, I want my self control back...this is what sucks about weekends. I have all this empty time to EAT. So I ate grapes (at like 11), 2 bowls of cereal, and cookie dough (around 3).And after that, I felt so disgusted with myself. You'd think I would've stopped... BUT NO! Then I ate pizza (A LOT OF PIZZA)and even more cookie dough. I want to die. I look like i have a bowling ball in my stomach, I wish I could just hide in the house tomorrow but I have to go to church. I feel like everyone will judge me because I look fat.

The Good the Bad and the Ugly

Today's weight: 158.4

But today was such a BINGE DAY! I ate only CRAP. It made me feel so sick. Seriously, I had the worst stomach pains and had diarrhea. It was disgusting, just like the fat on my body.

-Cookie dough
-A Waffle
-Licorice
-Chocolate
-Grapes
-Honeycomb cereal

So i'm sure I gained at least 1 pound back... My stomach is complete C-H-U-B.

Breaking 160

So I broke 160, 159.2. Whoo, I'm excited for when I break 150 and then 140. I wish it'd come sooner!

I tried to eat a little more calories today since I barely ate everything yesterday.

-2 small peaches (62 calories)
- 1/2 cup Honeycomb cereal (43 calories)
-2/3 cucumber (20 calories)
-Sugar Free jello (10 calories)
-1/2 cookie (75 calories)
-1 can corn (210 calories)
-5 grapes (15 calories)
-1 cup Honeycomb cereal (86 calories)

TOTAL: 521 calories

While at work today I was eating my cucumber and jello and I couldn't even finish my cucumber i felt sooo full. It was such a cool feeling.


Even though I've lost 7 pounds since coming back from college I don't feel that much different. I think maybe the fatter you are the less noticeable each pound is. Bummer.

Be Thinspired

We Can All Use a Little More Thinspiration in Our Life

Today's Endeavor

So today went fairly well. My weight still checked in at 160.2.

I didn't get to exercise because my gym is closed but I didn't eat much either!!!! And it feels so good, I'm not even hungry anymore. Skyping with my friend really distracted me and now my stomach almost feels like its full. Its an awesome feeling knowing you have the strength (again) to say not to food.

-Grapes (110 calories)
-1 cucumber (30 calories)
-1 Altoid (3 calories)
-2 Frescas (0 calories)

TOTAL: 143 calories!

Sounds Good to Me

So i copied this off a different website, but i like the way they think!

reasons not to eat

         -You don't NEED food.

         -Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.

         -You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.

         -If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like 100, 110 lbs.'

         -Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.

         -The models that everyone claim are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....

         -Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?

        - People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.

        - Anyone can have 'inner beauty,' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.

        -If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin.That's disgusting.

        -Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're -crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.'?

         -Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.

         -Saying 'No, thanks,' to food is saying 'Yes, please,' to THIN!

         -Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

         -Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?

         -Eating is conforming.

         -If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. -I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.

         -Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.

Bad Day

So heres what I ate today:

-Diet soda (0 calories)

-Celery sticks (25 calories)

-1/2 piece of Boysenberry pie (350 calories)

-2 BBQ chicken drumsticks (200 calories)

-Jalapeno potato salad (300)

-Grapes (110 calories)

-One Hershey nugget (45 calories)

TOTAL: 1030

Wow I feel disgusting, I feel like I have a beer belly. It was the fricken pie, I didn't know it 700 calories per piece!! No wonder it tasted so good. Ugggghhh. And my gym is closed all week :( and I still can't run because of my IT band. Danielle and I are going to walk 3.5 miles, but its not the same :(

The only good news is that my weight was at 160.2 today.

I NEED TO STOP BEING SUCH A FATTY.

I feel like I look like this:

Proof!!

|

V

I need to look like this. One day, my dears, one day.

Memorial Day

Its so hard to avoid food on holidays at my house. My mom cooks up everything tasty and its extremely obvious if you are not eating. So I had to eat "normal" today for them. -I had 2 bunches of grapes and 12 almonds for breakfast.

-Went to the gym and and hour on the elliptical (600+ calories) and weights

-Dinner: LOTS of fruits of vegetables and a little bit of BBQ chicken

-Snack: A few bites of pie

I wish I hadn't eaten the pie or chicken.....

Bust

So today I started out eating not that bad, I had healthy food for dinner...but then dessert came around. I ate homemade ice cream and a million Oreos. I was AWFUL. And now I'm bloated and feel disgusting. So tomorrow's plan is:

            1. Work out hard

            2. Eat nothing until dinner

            3. Eat fruits and vegetables for dinner

            4. Consume as much water as possible

Need some thinspiration?

Check out this link!

http://thinspiration-pictures.blogspot.com/2009/03/real-girl-thinspo_17.html

I love this blog, I find "real girl thinspo" much more inspiring (or should I say Thinspiring!) than the celebrities most people turn to.

Darn Food

So I feel like I should feel a lot better about myself then I should right now. I went to the gym, did the elliptical for an hour, and then lifted weights and did abs for like 40 min. I burned over 600 calories there. I didn't eat anything all day until I went out to dinner with a friend. I ate a lot and felt really sick after. But even now, hours after I ate I feel fat and gross.

Note to self: Do not stuff yourself silly EVER, especially if you haven't eaten all day. You'll ruin all the hard work.

I wish I could just throw it all up but I can’t for several reasons…

     1. I promised myself no matter how desperate I got I           would never use vomiting as a way to lose weight.

     2. I’m a teeth freak. The acid in my stomach will ruin      my teeth and make them yellow.

     3. It’s noisy and easier to discover.

*But tomorrow is another day to redeem myself.*

Getting Back into Jeans

So I just transferred over from different blog so I am going to repost some of my more recent posts....

So this is my first post on here...I've just been feeling super self-concious about myself and how I look lately but my self control is absolutely shot. I need as much support as possible to get my butt back into shape.

So earlier this week I went rock climbing with a friend and just being at the gym with her made me realize how huge I've become. I always tall and skinny when I was in HS but in the last year I've put on 20 pounds. I didn't even think that was possible. Ten from birth control and ten from college. I've gotten up to 170 pounds, (currently 164). That is [170] the most I've ever weighed in my entire life.

I have all these pairs of size 2 and 4 pants that I can't wear. And even though I just bought a bunch of size 6 pants those have all gotten too small too just in the last few months. It makes me want to cry, its one of the reasons I never wear jeans...because they are too small and I fee like they emphasize my fat thighs and hips. I want to be running so bad but unfortunately I strained my IT band and can't run. Even the gym sometimes hurts my leg.